So it’s Spring, and I’m 40.  I haven’t even thought about Weight Watchers for months, though I do keep paying them because I keep thinking somehow it’ll work without me doing anything.  Sadly for my waist, this isn’t the case.

Last month, my mom had a heart attack.  I’ve often repeated the axiom that first God whispers in your ear, then he taps you on the shoulder, then he hits you with a brick; don’t wait for a brick.  Well, for my mom this was a brick and for me it was a hard tap on the shoulder.  Time to get my act together.

I’m the type who will take care of everyone before I’ll take care of myself.  I don’t really think about pampering myself, I don’t enjoy being the center of anyone’s attention, and I often eat my feelings.  But I think it’s time to once again try to focus on me first.  I put work ahead of me too, and throw myself into it with all my focus, time and attention.  This is good and bad – I really love my job and the people I work with, so I feel lucky.  But as much as the people there love me back, it’s not exactly the most lasting or fulfilling relationship I’ll ever have.

Sooo, I have a lot of work to do.  My last stab at weight loss was mixed results but since I’ve neglected that part of my life, all my progress has been erased.  I’m not afraid of hard work, I’m just not good at doing it for myself.  I guess in the moments where I think “why do I bother??” I can think about a few things:  I can’t really help people if I’m not around, I can’t be the best me if I’m not healthy, and I’d like to be able to keep up with my nephews when I see them.

So, once again, face lift for the site, maybe a bit more candid and stream of consciousness posts, and most importantly (most scar of all), back to work on shaking this fat suit and putting myself out there again.

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